Devotional # 64 ( Vol. 4)
Fellowship of Thirsty Souls and Hungry Hearts
Pastor Dr Dongzathawng

DISCIPLINE AND BOUNDARY FOR YOUR CHILDREN

Thirsty souls simtute Shillong Tavang Jingkal Nisuah kilom tah apat in Chibai leh Shalom!

I dam chiatna uh maw? I message u jong i sutjom louna sawt simta.

TUNI TOPIC: DISCIPLINE AND BOUNDARY FOR YOUR CHILDREN: HIGHLY EDUCATED, RESPECTED, SMART, GODLY PARENTS: REBELLIOUS, MANNERLESS, MONKEY-LIKE, RESTLESS, THANKLESS and WILD CHILDREN ( Part 2)

Introduction:

1. War time prayer ah i demand uh i serious tahtah leh aggressive deu ding chi igenta ua, 5 Star Hotel, New Lamka, Mizoram ah jong thilthah umjel hi. Kei mudan in 5 star hotel te vaisaina in mipi hing khawm uh henla. Mipi a ut teng MIZO a ki declare ding in hing vaisai uleh ka chimai hi. MIZO lah kichi utlou, Mizoram lou a lah hithei mongmonglou. Mizo ham lah ki deilou lah hamdang ahoijaw leh a ki jang tam jaw lah um tuan lou??? Bang alternative iki lamet ua i hichi genhah uh i ding uai maw?
2. KOM nam te Kuki-ZO nuai a um ut lou sasa in min NAGA nuai hoideu a kibel ta, tualeh Mary Kom Thupi tah a kumpi nu bang a i lamdawn nu un jong hing gup sawm tuanlou bang ding a Tuibong Forest gate to DC office a MARY KOM ROAD kichi tu ni tan a i umsah nalai uh e?
3. Tua leh Lamka sung a MEITEI veng teng khu bang bawlna mun ding, bang project umsah ding chite i geel nai lou uh maw? Meitei te jummaw deu a Lamka a hing ten sawm kit uh ahi chi i mulou uh maw? Imphal a eimi veng teng ama un sufel siangta uhi. Lamka Khopi sung ah CHILDREN PARK nop tah khat plan thei aveleh. Adiah in Mantop Leikai bang a hoi ding dan. Singkung suan dim in, Chiengkon river siangthou sah in, Khumi area teng Park hisah lei Lamka a nop tuan mama didan!
4. Kipah huai mama khat: USA ten house speaker ding in ni 20 val buai nung in mi lar tuamtuamte lai ah aning khat a mi fuh mama manglam bang khop a lamdang tah in MIKE JohnSon teelchingta uhi. Ama pen family-man, southern Baptist Christian leh conservative a record hoi mama, TRUMP’s Boy Mega Mike kichi jawjen ahi. A theijousia in hoisa sengseng un lamdangsa uhi. Tulai politics mongmong khu MIHOI te a ding a chance umlou ahi. “Hoi mah leh kailou ding pi” chi toh kichai jel hi. Hoi mai hilou a telching hina ding a bangbang ekhat bolthei ngai ahi. Khujiehin mihoite pen hoi sa mai leh akaijou na diei? chi toh bei jel hi. Ahin MIKE pen ahoi a hoi in, bangma bol theina ngai seselou a FAIR tah a kai himai hi. Pasian khut ahi.

Hilam toh kisai hun sah ta mama vai ele!

TOPIC ah lut ta vai: DISCIPLINE AND BOUNDARY FOR YOUR CHILDREN: RESPECTED, SMART, HIGHLY EDUCATED, GODLY PARENTS; REBELLIOUS, MANNERLESS, MONKEY-LIKE, RESTLESS and WILD CHILDREN ( Part 2)

Text:

“A rod and a reprimand impart wisdom, but a child left undisciplined disgraces it’s mother” -Proverb 29:15

“Discipline your children, and they will give you peace; they will bring you the delights you desire”- Prov. 29: 17.

“Discipline your children, for in that there is hope;” Prov 19:18

“Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them” Prov 13:24

“Do not withhold discipine from a child; if you punish them with the rod, they will not die” Prov 23:13

“Punish them with the rod and save them from death” Prov 23:14

“Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far” Prov. 22:15.

Bangma genbe lou lei jong a tung a Bible chang teng juilei tahoi nei ihita ding uhi.

Amasa a igen bang in naupang umdan theilou, hamdan theilou, mi inn hileh biahinn hileh etkol lou ta, nu neilou pa neilou, a hiltu ding umlou bang a jawng bang a um maimai theilou naupang umhel kichite khu tulai in Singtang lou nasem, neh kilawtawm tate hinonlou in City a officer lian pipi tate bang hita mai hi. Achang a mi inn leh mipi neh khom na vel a alop pen, a duhgawl pen te khu a inn a a dudu nehsenglou nete bang ana hi ta hi. Inn a atui jong nejoulou a mite neh engeng a hingte in mipi lah ah jong ki suangla komkom in ann kuang juan uhi. Inn mun a dudu ne na pi mi inn leh mipi neh khawmna a Ganta bang a ane masa pen, a tam ne pen hi sawmte khu tulai in minopsa inn sung tate bang hi utta hi. Bangkim ki lebul hi. Apa Officer lian pipi hi in atate mi lah a umdan theilou, hillouta bang ki tamta hi.

USA a criminologists te ki interview na ah USA gam a naupang dan botsia a Suangkul lut tamna jieh khu no.1 ah Nute nasem in kuan ua, atate uh hoi deu a etkollou in nusia uhi. Himi in ahin khuo ua poimaw mama “this has deprived children of the constant guidance and sense of security they need from their mother in their early years” chi hi.

“Along with that change parental attitude toward disciplining their young have changed quite rapidly, in the home and outside, the trend has been steadily towards more permissiveness-that is, placing fewer restrains and limits on behaviour” (New Dare to Discipline,154).

Hibang a nu kumpi nasem ten inn a tun chiang ua atate calm leh cool tah a discipline ding in gimseng hita mai thei uhi. Tualeh I gam a kei mu dan in tunia hinkho nop hing man panpante khu i neulai ua, i dudu nejoulou, i deidei leijoulou, mi a eng khop a inn sung genthei tah a hing khangliante ihi kha ding hi. Khujiehin itate'n a dudu aneh ding, adeidei a nei ding, bangma limit umlou a hinsah ding chi lungsim kinei hi. En ina du mama, ina dei mama hinanleh ina neijoulou, nehjoulou te khu tunin i tate tung ah ki kham ut nonlou hi. Tuami ahi ibuaina uh. Tuami ngaidan dihlou khu i beisahlou leh itate’n gual hing phalou mai hilou in officer ta tampi tuni'n jattheilou in rehab ah tengta uhi. Tampi mualliamta uhi. Mipilte'n hamsatna sangin nopsahna in mi susie tam jaw. Nopsah hun sangin hamsat hun ah mi sangpi tung jaw kichi khu adih jel ahimai hi.

Hibang a tate, mitate sang a special bih a ngai a duatsual ding akisa nu leh pa te kung ah James Dobson thugen ngai vai: “Do not saturate the child with excessive materialism, Although it sounds paradoxical, you actually CHEAT the child of pleasure when you give him too much” ( cited by John M. Drescher in SIX Things Children Need,109). Na tate kipahna ding a van na moh leisahsah leh a hem/lhemlha/Khem hi gige na hi chi hi. Umjie khu lungkimna tahtah pleasure kichi khu hite a umsa ding uhi.

“IF discipline begins in the second day of life, you are one day late”- Dr BIll Stonecker( quoted James Dobson-New Dare TO Discipline, 28).

Naupang umdan khandan tawndan hamdan sinsahna ding in college ang kai uh ki ngahngailou hi. A piankhiah ni ua kipan ding chi hi tajen hi. Ang let chiang umdan, tawndan, hamdan hing thei na va uh chi khu juau ahi. Officer lian pi hi a laisiam in sum tampi sang nanleh neu lai a ki hiloute society a jattheilou, koima toh ki thua theilou, mahni ading a hing, bangma jat theilou hing suah veve ding uhi

Khujiehin koipou kung a ka gensah ut khu “ji a nei a na nei a, ta anei a na nei a, innsung khat siam khat na hi leh. NU-PA camp, Pate camp, Family seminar khat tei tei a khat vei beh na pan ngai ahi” A lou thei lou ahi. A nu pa hinkhuo leh tate kep ding dan a BASIC beh na thei ngai ahi.

Tualeh James Dobson gen danin John Locke leh JEan Rousseau te theory : BLANK SLATE” hypothesis is a myth” chi daih hi. ( The New Strong Will Child”,39)

I taten um dan hoilou, hamdan hoilou, lungsim dih lou, khandan dih lou a sim a sim seng lou koi BLANK SLATE malah lah bomb ki phual gu toh hing piangkhawm ahi uhi. Tua khu ina hah them sah lou leh mailam a chijat huai deu mai a hing pokjah ding ahi. Bangchi hah thep ding? itna toh, discipline toh, adang dang etc etc.

I tate school kaina hoi mama, IQ hoi mama, Grade hoi mama, Rank hoi ma ma napi in umdan, tawndan, hamdan lam ah gammang akipan bang thei veve uhi. A huah uh hoimama napi a lungtang uah hepina, ja ngaina, mite khualna um non lou in ama uh ding mai khualna in dim ta uhi. A tung ate jatatna bei kil kel ta. Hibang ten mailam a family ang etkol ding uh, church a puahding uh, i govt leh i kumpi tung ang vai ang hom ding uh khu chijat huai thou ding hi. Khujieh in Malcolm Muggeridge in “WE HAVE EDUCATED OURSELVES INTO IMBECILITY” ( Quoted by Ravi Zecharias-Can Man LIve Without God-xi).

Delai Lama in “WHEN EDUCATING THE MINDS OF OUR YOUTH, WE MUST NOT FORGET TO EDUCATE THEIR HEARTS” (St Edmunds School Handbook, 2018 p-96)

Pasian in PA kichi khu family etkolna ding in thuneina sang pen hing pia hi. Tuami khu i jat ding ahi. Tuami khu terrorist bang a tate tung a power show jing ding china hilou in. ahia itate ki jatat sah ding. In sung a boundary um ding. Tate hoideu a discipline ding khu PA mawpuahna ahi.

Bang chi tuh in sepna hoi in, officer lian hi in, hausa mama in, society a lamkai poimaw hinanleh i tate i thujaw leh thujaw lou khu Biahinn kikhopna, mi inn a khaw lai vah leh nopni dani a mipi ki punkhawmna te ah thei hamsa lou hi.

Milah a na tate a bual chiang na mit ha in na control jou ei? Khat vei “bawl sin” na chi khu amang chet uai? Mi inn a na vah chiang un na tate zoo a monkey abang mai uai? Na mit hah dan a en thei uai? Awl nou a signal na piah te a ngai ven uai?

“If you can not make a 5 year old pick up his toys, it is unlikely you will exercise much control during his most defiant time”- James Dobson( new dare to discipline, 28). Hipen a etsahna khat ahi. Na tate’n na thugen ajatat leh jatat lou etsahna ahi.

James Dobson in The New Dare to Discipline ah : “ When a parent’s calm request is ignored by a child mom or dad should have some means of making their youngset eant ot cooperate” (38). Na ta in kam dan a nagen khu angaisah lou leh Aw sang ngai sese lou a na thu aman tei tei na ding lampi khat na sui ngai ta hi.

Tualeh naupang te discipline na ding a aw saang, aw ngaih apoimaw lou dan thei vai: Dr Susan Spieker, Researcher, University of Washington found that parents who attempt to control their children by YELLING and INSULTING them are likely to cause even more DISRUPTIVE and DEFIANT behaviour” ( cited by James Dobson, The new strong willed child,77)

I tate’n kamnem tah leh awl nou a igen ngai thei ding thupi hi. I tate thujaw na ding a aw keh jen a kiseen khu tulai in pai non lou hi. Thil ngol huai ahi ta hi. Hinanleh nupi pil tah tah pa changkang tah tah in ki hah jat nalai ve ve hi.

“There is no more ineffective approach to child management than volconic display of anger(93).

Aw sang a kikou khel khel a naupang etkolna ding a approach hoilou leh chau um lou chi hi. Tunia i jat tam pen pen AW SAANG khu naupang thujaw na ding a method hoilou pen pen hidan aveh.Tuabang a naupang i thujaw sawm sawm leh hing khel deu deu ding ua atop ah ama uh jong hing violent ding uhi.

Dobson in agen jel na ah” Neither the police officer nor the judge need to rely on anger to influence your behaviour. They have far more effective method of getting your attention. Thier serenity and confidence are part of the aura of authority that creats respect”( 78) “ the police officer doesn’t cream, cry or criticize you, He doesn't have to” (78)

Hia agen ut khu Judge te leh police officer leh army te’n mi thujaw or miten a thu uh alah or ajatatna ding ua a AW uh ajat tam uh ngai lou hi. A Thaulianpipi leh a uniform uh khu hunta mama hi.

Ei India leh Manipur ah thautoi uniform sil te khu sang ham thei mama uhi. A motna uh ahi. A aw uh volume a authority um hilou in a uniform ua um jou ahi ta hi. I tate khu aw nem a i thuman sah jou chiang Nu leh Pa ihina ah ih authority jang thei pan ihi ding hi. I singnuai mi thautoi te jong nidang lai in thuah hah dan uh ithei uhi,. A diah in a aw uh sang in a aw uh sie hi. Khumlaia Meitei singnuai mi te ki dscipline dan lamdang kisah hi.

Sap gam a school khat ah naupang kum 7 te class mi 30 khu lang seng in control jou koi mai um lou uhi. Tuamun ah numei expert khat hing guai uhi. Sawt lou nung in tua room bengseng leh bilap huai pen class khu sip dingdeng ta hi. A ham te jong kaang nounou in whisper thaw ta uh kichi hi. Tuanu method ahileh awl nou nou in ham hi( The new dare to discipline, 142). Tunin nang nu leh pa na aw na san sah lai sia na inn sung bengsengsem sem ding hi. Atmosphere hoi lou sem sem ding hi.

EIte in ki gen gen in ki ha gen seng in itate’n i thu gen thu thupi ngai nonlou, ngaina se ta, i thugen in umjie meaning nei nonlou, i kam teng leh i thu gen a AUTHORITY um non lou china ahi.” When a youngster discovers there NO THREAT behind the millions of words he hears, he stops listening to them” (39).

Nu leh pa phun hat te kingaih vo! na thugen khu action na back up lou leh na tate’n phut hatpa phut hat nu hing chi mai uhi.

Dobson in agen jel na ah” “One should never underestimate a child’s awareness that he is braking the rules”( 42)

Naupang ten ka nu ka pa rule ka suh keh leh a ga kaneh ding khu thil nop hilou chi khu thei mama uhi. Hinanleh ei a RULE bawl ten ki jui lou in, tualeh ki serious lou ahi chiang RULE khu a min mai mai suah jel hi. Eg” Ka phone khu permission lou a na tham thei mong mong lou ding uh”chia rule i bol leh a tham kha pen pen in discipline a neh ngai ahi. RULE khu a kisuh siat chiang a consequences a um lou leh rule ahiman umnon lou hi. Tunin naupang chi lou piching in jong police ten ahing mat ding, sepai ten ang soisah ding khu ki ut lou hi. Tuabang in taten jong dan hoi deu a i bawl sah leh suh keh ding khu lau uhi. Tua khu lau na hoi ahi.

Kei gin danin i ta in khat vei igen a jui lou leh jep ngal lei a kit chiang juilou a buai haui dan hing thei ngal un pil vang ta mama uhi. Na ta in na khat vei gen a jui lou leh ang jau nonlou ang na nonlou ahi. Pai veng veng in la na room ah ama ngen in kot khah in lan na bol ding khu bol in. Akia chiang na mit ha mai jong hing jui da ding hi.

Tualeh RULE jui hoi ten reward a mu ding uh khu thil kilom ahi. Tuami khu re-enforcement kichi hi. I taten thil hoi a bol uleh itheipih a, i patat a i reward khu thil hoi mama ahi. “the great weakness of socialism is the absence of re-inforcement”( 88) kichi hi. (Hipen topic tuam ahita)

“Don’t be afraid of the child’s tears” ( The New Strong Willed Child, 95). I ta tunia a kaa ding I ngai ngam lou leh ang let chiang I tate jieh in I kap kap ding hi chi thei vai. Bible a Proverb in ta kep dan khaudeuh in hing hil hi. Ahia ih it louna jieh ahi jing ding ahi. Lungthah jieh a sat ding, vuah ding, housiet ding, ki kou khum ding hi jen jen lou. A hia itna toh hepina thuuh tah toh discipline ding khu alou thei lou ahi.

Tu naupang kum 10 ching nailou a na thu gen a ngaisah lou or a jui lou leh na thugen ah AUTHORITY um non lou ahi. Adih lou ahita hi. Ang let chiang ang bang chi jatat ding lah?

Govt hoi phot in dan ( law) kichup tah nei ua, tua dan bot keh ten a bokeh man uh ne tei tei uhi. Tuajieh in miin dan bokeh ding jau in, ut huai sa lou uhi.

A tung a i Bible chang un “ a child left undisciplined disgraces it’s mother.” a gen ut khu Na tate a ut bang bang a biahinn leh mi inn leh bazar leh mipi ki punkhawmna lah a na umsah leh na tung a jumna leh mual phouna hing tut ding achi na ahi.

Duke of Wellington in America Parents te a mu dan hibang in gen hi: “The thing that impresses me most about America is the way parents obey their children” ( 7700 illustration-233). America nu leh pa ten atate uh thu aman dan uh thupi in lamdang hi chi dan ahi. Bible a toh ki lebul ahi ta. Bible ah pen Tate in nu leh pa te thu man ding chi ahi. Tu khang in ahileh ei society jong bangchileh tate thu thu a um ding?. Ama uh mai etna lau leh ling a um ding?chi te ahi ta.

Adiah ei lah a atate mi in hileh biah inn hileh mipi ki punkhomna hileh a tate a ut dan dan a um sah un ama un mobile meh meh a tate bangchi um ahilam jong ngai sah lou pa or nu te khu ka seminar na ah hing pang kha in ha hou a hou lou ding in ka ip la hi. Adei dei ngen a ki leisah lou leh kap, tual a ki peh, a nu bang a sam a luai chi te khu a nu toh jep khawm ut huai ahi. Sap ten DEFIANT achi uh khu ahi. Itate chichi thumang ding ki hilou in ama un a nu apa thu aman ding khu Pasian thupiah ahi.

Teenager/adolecent ten pen hing tuam deu mai thei. Ahin aneu lai nasan a i thujaw lou ua, achi chi a i umsah a, a thu thu a i um leh chuh ang let chiang ua itaten i taw ang peh ding, i lu tung a eh ang thah khup ding ma uh ahi.

Himun ahi ih Parental authority i jatna ding. Himi ahi atung a Proverb in na tate discipline ding agen: disciline in, Chiang toh sat in ashi sih ding, Na ta na sat lou leh na ta sang in na chiang na it jaw hi. Na ta jep in, soisah in, sudih in, sep tang in, a khuam foundation det sah in, ding tang sah in, ham dan, um dan, tawn dan jil sah in.

Biah inn leh , Mi inn leh khawlai leh mipi lah a umdan ding uh innsung a ki jilsah ngai ahi. Inn naupang a ki hil leh hil lou pualam a um dan ah thei hamsa lou hi.

“Lack of discipline leaves a child without bounds for his energies and drives”( Agnes Sanford) “Naupang ki discpline lou khu a hatna uh leh a thanopna in gamgi um lou khop in a pui thei hi”

James Dobson gen dan in American Academy of Pediatrics(AAP) Nidang lai in America a naupang lam et kolna dept ten naupang jep, sat khu phal lou, hoi lou, lau huai chiin ana kham uhi. Hinanleh tunai in naupang jep, sat, beh khu tahsa leh lungsim a ding a jauhuai lou poina um lou, method hoi mama in hing genkhia uhi. ( The New Strong Willed Child, 125).

America ah naupang 5 lah a 4 aki jep thaw a khanglian ten ahoi dan gen uhi.

USA nuapang 1000 survey abawl na uah 76% ten naupang ki jep thaw khu ahoi mama leh ga sua mama jaw chi uhi( new stong willed child, 125)

Tualeh nu leh pa ta etkolna lam a lawching pen pen te asuina uah a vanjat uh hoi pen pen 3 te lah ah FIRM DISCIPLINE khu a 3 na ahi.” They were a firm discilinnarians while simultaneaoulsy showing great affection for their children,” (n Strong willed 98)

Sweden gam ah himi child spanking akhap ua kipat in valnou te lai ah violence ale 6 in khang kichi hi.( Strong willed, 130).

Dr Peter G. Crowford, child psychologist gen dani n “emotional problems among the young are caused ,not by firm discipline, but by lack of it. Youth need limits” ( six things children need,102). Naupang a ki discipline hoi leh a lungsim lam buai lou jaw, dam jaw leh muang jaw china ahi. Naupang ki discpline in lungsim lunggel lah ah mi bat lou na nei thei china ahi.

School naupang kum 8 khat in “We had a subsititute teach today. She left us to anything we wanted and we did n’t like her” chi jiau hi( 6 things,105) Naupang a ut dan dan umsah khu buai uhi. I it leh it lou thei siam lou uhi. A it lou lam in la jaw uhi.

Leonard Gross in “ A child with unlmiited freedom gets frighted, he suspects he is not loved” (102).

Naupang discipline leh boundary um lou hial a ut dan dan umsah in a lugnsim ua muanmaw na pia hi. Ngaisah lou, it lou, poimaw sa lou, deisah hilou lam in la uhi.

Naupang in boudary sung a um khu lungmuang in bit huai sa uhi.

Naupang a nu leh apa te apat hi tan a limit, hitan phal, hitan phal lou, or eg mobile or computer game, or football dah kal 1 sung na ut dan dan a ki mawl thei chia boundary i bol sah khu ama uh kipah mama uhi. Naupang in phal leh phal lou tan gamgi um khu dei jaw uhi. Gamgi a kichet lou chiang alian jong ki buai hi. Khujiehin Lampi hileh mun chin ah sign board kitah hi.

Gamgi bei, discipline bei, rule bei, ut dan dan, ut tan tan, chi khu Naupang dei tuan lou ua bit huai sa lou uhi.

Ka pa apat ka thil mu ka mang hil lou khat:

Ka neu lai in Singtang khota a ka khuo uah Biah inn kai chiang ka pa stage lam ah tou ka mit ha in ka mu jing hi. Nitah khat ka touna ka kheel leh a touna apat a hing kum suh in “bangdinga na touna na kheel?” chiin hing sudih hi.

Nitah dang khat ma khu a Biah inn pualam a thum kal a ka pot khiah leh thumna nei jou in hing pai veng veng a a pualam gamlam lou football ground a ka na kimawlna apat in hing pui khia hi. Hibang pa te apat a ki lua sawn GOU THUPI (LEGACY) khuh ahi laibu te a ki mu jou lou. Hia ka pa hing etkol dan point 2 maimai khu Naupang toh kisai seminar a ka pan na te hoi top nanleh tua teng teng sang in ka jir tam jaw hi. Tualeh ka laibu sim tampi sang in ka jir tamjaw hi.

Tuni nu leh pa te: I tate khu inn sung leh, biah inn leh mi inn ivah chiang hileh, mipi ki pawl khawmna hileh a um dan , a hamdan, a gam tat dan ua pat in inn sung a hoi deu a ki jirtil, thununna nuai a khang lian, itna toh ki enkol, gamgi nei ahi lam ki lang sah ta vai! Koima a felsa ki um sih. Ki jil tou tou ding ihi.

Topa Thupha
SHALOM!

Tunia i topic uh discipline leh boundary in tulai Mobile phone addiction a jong apply thei mama ahi.

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